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G.I. JOBS VIRTUAL JOB FAIR   I   OCTOBER 26TH

6 Military Scents That Would Make Terrible Candles

Photo shows a candle and a pair of feet

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If there is one product on the face of the Earth that is the antithesis to the rigors and roughness of military life, it would have to the scented candle. But as “hardcore” as veterans once were, their loving better halves will always buy a sh*tload of them to decorate the house. This is a fight we cannot win.

Veterans aren’t candle-averse because they hate the idea of smelling lavender spring sunshine or whatever. It’s the fact that scented candles are designed to bring back good memories and the good memories troops have often tend to smell like ass, sweat, sh*t, or a mixture of the three.

These are the candles that vets would buy to remember the good ol’ days — and their spouses would quickly throw away.

6. Over-saturated PineSol

It’s the smell of every military building that was just cleaned by staff duty. All it takes is a cap-full of PineSol to clean the entire building and yet, every Private uses an entire bottle anyways.

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combat janitor

Talk to your recruiter and become a combat janitor today! (Photo by Maj. Brandon Mace)

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Better than the smell of the Meow Mix — I mean a Meal, Ready to Eat.(Photo by Happy Cat)

2. Sands of Trashcanistan Afghanistan

One unexpected problem no one else tells you about before you deploy to a third-world country is their lack of sanitation.

Afghanistan is covered in what is affectionately known as “moon dust,” which is just sand and garbage that flows freely across the country.

KAF poo pond

Just pray you’re never downwind of this… uh… “pond” if you go to Kandahar Airfield. (Photo by Staff Sgt. Brendan Mackie)

1. Crowded tents after month ten

The first few weeks in-country aren’t too bad if you can get over the stench of the outside. It’s around month nine or ten when everyone’s f*ck-it is in short supply and the tents go to sh*t.

Dip bottles, sweat, dirty gear, and the occasional p*ss bottle make tents unbearable.

racked out

Not a single f*ck is given in these tents. (U.S. Army photo by Spc. Aaron Rosencrans)

*Bonus* Puff of carbon on the range

This one is a bonus because it would actually be awesome.

I’ll take 8.

This article originally appeared on 5 Reasons Why Troops Stick Together After the Military
4 Reasons Why Showering On Deployment is Disgusting
7 of the Greatest Songs Every Veteran Knows
6 Things You’d Take Back Before Leaving the Military
6 Dumb Things Veterans Lie About on the Internet

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READ NEXT: HERE’S HOW MUCH AMERICAN TROOPS WERE PAID IN EVERY MAJOR WAR

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